Guillermo was telling me last night that he couldn’t believe how slow time was going by. He didn’t remember it being such an awful wait last time for the ultrasound. It got me thinking, it wasn’t such an awful wait last time because we were so overly optimistic and extremely naive. After the positive pregnancy test we really thought nothing could possibly go wrong. Not for us. Even after the first ultrasound when one heartbeat was healthy and the other one only in the 70’s we were still thinking everything would be ok. We weren’t trying for twins, one healthy baby would be perfect. Then the bottom dropped out a week later at the second ultrasound when the healthy heartbeat was completely gone and the remaining heartbeat barely there. The third ultrasound a week later when there were no more heartbeats was completely devastating.
I wish I could be naive and overly optimistic this time, it was so much easier. I had more bleeding again on Monday although not nearly as heavy and more brown than bright red. This wait is torture. I woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep because I couldn’t turn my mind off.
5 more days.